Is it possible to study, work, and be a mum?

Trying to study, work and be a Mum is a bit like being in the circus.

In 2021, at the age of 39 and with a 6-year-old daughter, I made the decision to further my career and study for my diploma in insurance. At the time I don’t think I realised how much I was taking on, how long it would take and how much I would have to sacrifice to achieve my goal.

The definition of ‘juggling’ is keeping several items in the air moving from one place to another. Studying later in life with additional commitments felt exactly like this. I found myself in a position where I was juggling work, study, family commitments and parenting, and trying to keep them all going without dropping one!

Dealing with the guilt

“I don’t care if you pass your exam Mummy, I just want you to play with me”. This was what my daughter said to me one morning whilst I was reading through my endless revision notes. It filled me with the usual mum guilt and made me ask the question – “is it possible to study with a family?”

But however bad this comment made me feel, the answer to the question should be “yes – anything is possible with planning, perseverance and a lot of organisation!” You will always feel guilty as a parent for prioritising yourself, however this was something that I really wanted to do for my own personal and professional growth. I just needed to find ways that wouldn’t have a negative impact on my daughter.

Setting realistic goals

The trick is to find balance. You need to have time to study but also be realistic and flexible with your plans and goals. As with anything involving children, you need to be prepared to make adjustments to your plans to fit in with their needs. Since time is limited, having good time management is vital and setting realistic study goals with clear priorities can make things feel more manageable. I learnt to plan short, focused revision times rather than longer ones which are usually unrealistic and unmanageable.

Asking for help

A support network is crucial. You need to be prepared (and not ashamed) to ask for help from family and friends when you need it so you can balance everything effectively. Asking for help in any situation is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. In my situation my partner and family members helped share some of the childcare responsibilities so I could have dedicated study time. The team at Macbeth were also vital in providing the additional support I needed by allowing me to have allocated study time during my working day which limited the impact on my personal family time.

Involvement – the power of multitasking

Try to involve your family in your studying by turning your learning into a family activity. My daughter and I would regularly do our ‘homework’ together after school, where I would be writing revision notes, and she would be working alongside me doing her maths or spellings. We would then reward our achievements with spending quality time together once we were finished.

Be kind to yourself

A valuable and important thing I had to remember is to celebrate the small wins and to stay motivated when some days don’t go to plan. Some days will be more productive than others which need to be accepted. Being kind to yourself whilst studying is essential, especially as a busy Mum.

And the answer to the question is

I am pleased to say that at the end of 2024 just after my daughter’s 10th birthday, I completed my diploma. So, the answer to the question is yes, it is possible to study and raise a family at the same time. I am lucky enough to have had some incredible support over the 4 years and grateful to work for a company that supports and actively encourages training and development amongst their staff.

My daughter is now old enough to be proud of what her Mum has achieved – even if she wasn’t when I started. And I am proud that she has witnessed that it is possible to achieve your goals.

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